Review: Best Sex Writing 2012

The greatest strength of Best Sex Writing 2012 (ed. Rachel Kramer Bussel) is its ecclectic collection of writing from all corners of the genre.  This anthology has a taste of almost every conceivable angle on sex (or at least, every angle you could conceive of fitting into such a slim volume).  There are pieces specific [...]

Review: Ananda Nidra: Blissful Sleep (Mark A. Michaels & Patricia Johnson)

I’ve been curious about tantra for a long time, so I was happy for the opportunity to review Ananda Nidra: Blissful Sleep, a two-CD meditation set by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson.  These meditations combine Yoga Nidra, the practice of “yogic sleep,” with the sensual themes of tantra.  I had two questions when reviewing [...]

Enthusiastic Consent Should Honor Quiet Communication, Too

This is a response that I originally posted on Tumblr in response to a post on enthusiastic consent.  The quoted point was in a list of bullet points on examples of when someone about to have sex (or having sex) with a person should stop. So in general, I really, really agree with this.  However, I [...]

Calling All Heterosexual Sex Transactional Perpetuates Rape Culture

An article in today’s Huffington Post has me absolutely livid.  The author, HuffPo contributor Toni Nagy, presumably is trying to make a point about how “dry humping” is a good idea for feminists (read: heterosexual women) as a way to draw out the courting ritual and be more selective about sexual partners.  What she in [...]

Submission and Shyness

I want to share a brief commentary on something that’s been bugging me lately in writing about D/s relationships geared towards submissives.  I keep seeing a submissive empowerment message, which on its own is great, but I’ve also noticed a kind of hostility towards submissives who are naturally shy.  A few different people have said [...]

Despite Ogi Ogas, Why Feminism and Submission Are Great Bedfellows

So there’s been a lot of shit going down in the feminist blogosphere about an blog post I just got a chance to read on the Psychology Today website, authored by Ogi Ogas (of fandom survey fail fame) and Sai Gaddam.  The post is called Why Feminism Is the Anti-Viagra, and despite requisite ass-covering, the [...]

Does Sexual Identity Make Physical Attractiveness Less Important?

I’ve been asking myself this question, because I’ve been thinking about the difference in how I’ve seen people relate, and go about dating, in the “vanilla” world versus those who claim a queer or alternative sexuality.  My theory is limited at best, I know, but I think that the more of those badges you put [...]

Poly Holidays and the Difficulty of Telling Half-Truths

Around the holidays, you tend to get a spike of interest in your family, spurred by that oh-so-popular “what are you doing for Christmas?” question (regardless of your actual religion, I’m guessing the question gets asked).  I find this frustrating because in choosing to only be selectively out about my polyamorous status, it means that [...]

The Downside of Poly Community Online

I’ve been thinking about how the Internet affects poly relationships in anticipation of my panel at Momentum in April, and one thing that strikes me on the negative side is that as more poly people meet their partners online, it makes the idea of poly community, or poly family, much more difficult.  When you meet [...]

A Question about Polyamory, Romance, and Sex

I’ve been wondering something, when I read accounts of polyamory and polyamorous relationships.  I understand that people come to polyamory for a variety of different reasons–it might be about sex, it might be about relationship style, it might just be about relating to the world or about beliefs.  I tend to see a lot of [...]