Despite Ogi Ogas, Why Feminism and Submission Are Great Bedfellows

So there’s been a lot of shit going down in the feminist blogosphere about an blog post I just got a chance to read on the Psychology Today website, authored by Ogi Ogas (of fandom survey fail fame) and Sai Gaddam.  The post is called Why Feminism Is the Anti-Viagra, and despite requisite ass-covering, the [...]

Momentum Con Recap

I’m happy to say that I had an amazing weekend at Momentum, thanks to our fabulous organizers Tess & Diva, a truly excellent group of presenters, and a great crowd of attendees overall.  It felt so good to be in a sex-positive, mostly safe space for a weekend, and I feel about a hundred times [...]

Let’s Talk About Sex

So far, Momentum has been very encouraging. The keynote panel really energized me to get out there as a sex educator and not be afraid of being young or the new kid on the block on this community. I also was pleased to hear some discussion of queerness and gender. Talk about anonymity was very [...]

Coming Out Kinky

Recently on Fearless Press, Viola wrote a post called Pissing on the Oyster about the idea that kinky people should come out as kinky to increase acceptance of kinky sexualities.  Viola does a great job in that post of covering the legal and lifestyle ramifications of coming out as kinky, and I wanted to add [...]

Rethinking Vaginal Penetration

Note: This post contains very explicit language below the cut. I read a couple of sexuality books recently, and they got me thinking.  One, the Hite Report, stirred up a lot of negative emotions in me, ranging from frustration at the heteronormativity of the whole thing to uncertainty about my own body and responses.  The [...]

Gender and Sexual Scripts

I’ve recently been thinking about my history of sex with male-identified individuals with penises and trying to pin down my limits and hesitance when it comes to sex with such individuals in the future.  It may be irrelevant–after all, I don’t even have many cis-gendered male friends–but I am curious because for me it’s sort [...]

The Internet Is For Porn: Sex Negativity and Sexualization

I don’t need to tell you that there’s a lot of hypocrisy surrounding the Internet and sex.  Websites like Amazon, Google, and Paypal are constantly patrolling sexuality by limiting access to goods, services, and content that those websites consider “pornographic,” while at the same time content that could be extremely damaging due to its misogynistic [...]

A Question about Polyamory, Romance, and Sex

I’ve been wondering something, when I read accounts of polyamory and polyamorous relationships.  I understand that people come to polyamory for a variety of different reasons–it might be about sex, it might be about relationship style, it might just be about relating to the world or about beliefs.  I tend to see a lot of [...]

Meta Thoughts on Sex Education

One of the things I would absolutely love to happen in my life is to become a sex educator in a full-time, professional capacity. I mentioned this to a coworker the other day and she responded “oh!  me too.”  Another coworker agreed.  When I asked what they were interested in, specifically, Coworker A mentioned AIDS [...]

Are Some Sexual Positions Inherently Demeaning?

There was a mention in the book I’m reading about Greek vase paintings, and a particular image of a woman performing fellatio on a man while another man penetrates her from behind, possibly anally, with a hand on her hair.  In the book, this is used as an illustration of how particular demeaning sexual positions [...]